I heard a comedian do a bit on parenting that revealed his childless status. He began by referring to Oprah’s position that parenting is “the hardest job in the world". The comedian said that he didn’t believe that any job you could do in your pajamas could be all that hard. To which I respond, "Let me ‘splain you how wrong you are!"

Let’s begin with a brief job description: 1. Applicant must be willing to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for at least 18 years, 2. Applicant must be able to deal with employers who speak a language that is impossible to understand, while at the same time being completely responsible for said employer’s survival, 3. After the first 3 years of listening very closely to determine the employer’s needs, Applicant must devise a way to tune out or risk bleeding from the ears after year 12 of employment, 4. Applicant must be able to be patient and handle fourteen tasks simultaneously, after which the employer will tell you how incompetently said tasks were performed. 5. Applicant must be willing to do all this for the salary of $0 with the proviso that in 18 years you will work yourself out of a job, unless of course the employer decides to renew the contract with a one-way option.

The bonus plan is that you can work in your pajamas.